Your Family and Friends Are Not Your Book Marketing Strategy

Family and friends are usually the first people to celebrate a new book, and their support matters. They come to the launch, share the news and buy early copies. Many authors understandably build their sales expectations around that circle, reasoning that if each relative buys five copies, the first print run will be covered. The difficulty is that support from people who love you is not the same as demand from readers who need the book.

When the books arrive, that difference becomes clear. An aunt takes two copies to be kind. Cousins send congratulations in the family WhatsApp group. A friend promises to pay at the end of the month, and someone else asks for a signed copy as a gift. Nobody has behaved badly. They were asked to celebrate someone they care about, while the author was quietly counting them as a market.

At Sotrane Publishers, we encourage authors to welcome that support gratefully while planning for readers who have no obligation to buy. A plan built on what relatives owe you runs out quickly and can turn a proud moment into a list of awkward, unpaid promises. The book's longer life depends on readers beyond your circle.

The people closest to you are buying something else as well

When your brother buys your poetry collection, he may genuinely love poetry, or he may simply want to support you. Both motives are fine. The problem begins when that purchase is used to predict demand from people who have never met you.

A first-time novelist who sells 35 copies at a launch, 28 of them to relatives, former classmates and colleagues, may decide that the packed event proves the story has a wide audience and order hundreds more. The 35 sales are real, but the conclusion is uncertain. How many buyers have actually read the novel? How many bought it because its setting and characters interested them? How many would recommend it to someone outside the author's circle?

The distinction matters before printing too. "My family will help" is encouragement, not a confirmed order. When deciding on a print quantity, compare the cash required, storage and realistic demand rather than multiplying the number of relatives by an assumed number of copies. A lower printing cost per copy is no comfort when unsold cartons fill the spare room.

None of this makes a friend's purchase less valuable. A paid copy is a paid copy, and it should be recorded accurately. Simply keep track of which sales came from personal support and which came from readers drawn to the book itself, because that tells you what will keep working after the launch.

Ask for support that is specific and voluntary

A request to "share my book everywhere" asks people to spend their own credibility without giving them a reason to recommend the book. A cousin who has not read it may feel obliged to forward a poster with claims they cannot judge, and other relatives may feel that declining to buy five copies means refusing to support you.

Offer smaller, honest choices instead. A friend who enjoyed the book can tell one person why. Someone who runs a reading group can mention it if it genuinely suits the group. A relative might help photograph the book clearly or check that the ordering details work. Another might simply congratulate you. None of this should be demanded.

If someone offers to introduce you to a school, bookshop or church group, ask for an introduction rather than a guaranteed sale. The people there still have to decide whether the book suits their readers, budget and purpose. Our guide to selling to organisations explains the difference between an encouraging conversation and an approved order. Family occasions deserve the same care. A wedding, a funeral or a Sunday meal is not a book fair, and the relationship must be able to survive a polite "no".

Support from people who love you is a gift. It is not the same as demand from readers who need the book.

Test the book with people who do not owe you praise

Before spending heavily on printing or promotion, show a small, representative part of the book to people who resemble your intended readers but are not close to you. Ask what they think the book is for, whether the sample holds their attention and what would make them hesitate to buy. "Did you like it?" invites politeness. "Where did you stop reading?" tells you something useful.

Suppose you have written a practical guide to simple record keeping for market traders, and your uncle, an accountant, confirms that the advice is sound. That is valuable feedback on accuracy, but he is not the reader you are writing for. Ask a few traders to try the sample pages. Can they follow the example without an accounting background? Does the suggested record fit the way they actually buy and sell? A manuscript can be correct and still miss the reader's daily reality.

The same applies to fiction. A friend may praise the cover of a novel about a family dispute in Eastern Province, while a reader of contemporary Zambian fiction who has not discussed the plot with you may read the back cover and expect a romance. If the story is actually a tense family drama, the description needs work, and an outsider will notice that far sooner than a friend.

A small test does not prove a national market. It does give you a better question for the next test. If several relevant readers say the book is for them, find out where they normally discover and buy books.

Move one step beyond your existing circle

The useful question is not "How do I get strangers to buy my book?" but "Where do people already gather around the subject, pleasure or problem this book addresses?"

A poetry collection about life in Zambia might meet readers through a local reading, a literary event or a book club that enjoys poetry, provided the author offers a genuine reading and conversation rather than asking organisers to advertise a product. A children's picture book can be shown to a small group of parents or teachers who can judge its suitability. A training manual might find interested people at a relevant professional meeting, if the organisers welcome it.

Make each approach specific. "I have written a book; please promote it" puts all the work on someone else. "Your reading group discussed family histories last month. My novel deals with a dispute over inherited land. Could I send a short extract so you can decide whether it suits a future discussion?" gives them a reason to look and permission to decline. In WhatsApp groups, follow the group's rules and contribute something useful rather than posting a poster every morning. When there is interest, make the price and the way to buy clear. Our article on finding the first 100 real readers explores those steps in more detail.

Let recommendations come from reading

A friend can say "my friend wrote this" on the day of the launch. A reader can say "chapter three helped me handle a difficult conversation with my father" only after using the book. The second recommendation tells a potential buyer something real.

Give buyers time to read before asking what they thought, and ask questions that allow an honest answer. What stayed with you? Who do you think would enjoy it? Was any part unclear? If someone offers a comment you would like to use publicly, ask permission and quote them accurately. Never write praise for someone to approve, and never present a close relative's comment as an independent review.

You may hear that someone enjoyed the book but would not recommend it to the readers you had in mind. That is valuable. A motivational book written for secondary school pupils may turn out to suit parents and mentors better because its language assumes adult experience. It is far better to learn that from real readers than to keep marketing the book with the wrong promise. Our article on why some good books do not sell looks at these gaps more closely.

Keep your records and your relationships separate

Suppose an author hands out 20 copies at a family celebration. Five are paid for on the day, eight are given as gifts and seven are taken by relatives who promise to pay later. The author has made five confirmed sales, given away eight copies and is owed for seven. Calling all 20 "sold" hides both the money and the stock.

A simple record of paid orders, gifts, review copies and copies awaiting payment protects your figures and helps avoid uncomfortable disputes. If someone asks to pay later, decide whether you are comfortable giving credit, and if not, kindly keep a copy available until they are ready. Do not pursue relatives through the family group as though a warm conversation had been an order. The four pillars of book marketing are readers, message, access and measurement, and knowing where each sale came from shows whether those pillars work beyond the people who know your name.

A better first month

Make two short lists. On the first, write the people close to you who have offered to help and what they have freely offered. On the second, write three kinds of reader who would care about the book even if someone else had written it. For each group, note one place where you can reach them respectfully and one sample of the book that would help them judge it.

At the end of the month, look at actual payments and conversations. Who understood the book without a personal explanation from you? Who asked for a sample, and who completed an order? What did readers say after reading? Those answers will guide the next month more honestly than a long list of relatives who wrote "Congratulations!" beneath a launch photograph.

Thank the people who stand by you, and then give the book the chance to stand on its own with readers who have no obligation to love it. Have you ever felt pressure to buy or promote a friend's book, and what would have made the request easier to answer honestly?